Responding Sam Miau, well I’ll say that when the vast majority come and clearly are against something I’m for, or vice versa, I will lay down my agenda. Our current Town Board simply doesn’t do this ( though they claim they do. Their record speaks for itself) Since you asked, I’ll give 2 examples. First, a men’s group that I’m a part of has been a part of, and a leader in, I will bring ideas before the group. I have my preference, but I defer to the entire group. Like taking a weekend getaway, or a theme that we may focus on for the next several meetings. We decide as a group rather than me simply being in charge and willing my ideas through the group of a dozen men. I bring to the other brothers.
A second example is I’ve had a 20 year relationship in Danby with a man who is politically opposite of me. The valuable point here is we actually listen to one another, respond to one another, have never lowered ourselves to name calling, and amazingly, have always found common ground and both been shocked how much we agree with one another in spite of our being on opposite sides.
Just thought of a third. A bow Club that I belonged to had men who did not appreciate that I hunted from a biological point of view – removing excess deer that damage the ecosystem. I listened to them. Rather than cause conflict I wound up resigning as a good number of them were upset by my biological point of view and I didn’t want to be a source of dissention in the club.
I have yet another example. I grew up in farm country/ suburbs of Central NJ, but I moved to Queens NYC and taught HS Biology and Plant Science Agricultural there. I worked with ethnically diverse students 13 to 21 years of age. Very different and varying beliefs. I was always one of the popular teachers that my students would come to hang with during their lunch, and after school. My students felt listened to and cared for by me.
I’ve got a 5th. I’ve been married to my wonderful wife for over 37 years. Listening is Key! We are such different and weird creatures from one another – oh my! Focusing on her, understanding her, being attentive to what she says and thinks is key to a good marriage. We have a tremendous marriage, and it gets better all the time!